Impossible to Name Just How Beautiful It Is
The following entries were written on 8.26.2026
Mesopotamia, a current homosapien, stars, moon, days of the week, infinite incarnations, only Now; streamers and flashing lights, ads flying across my screen, people unaware of themselves, language, eyeballs on statues, the human face and its structure, dragons at night - existence is so very strange, so very absurd, with each and every new day I only realize this all the more
Me
Numeric systems, 5 fingers on a hand, the feeling and epiphany of infinite unconditional sympathy and love, endless compassion, reflection of the self in the mind, a craving for wisdom, a flow, a river of change, a fool, a silly creature unaware of its own endless beauty,
a silly animal who deserves so much love and still puts itself through so much unnecessary pain, necessary only in the sense to reflect on someday and realize it is unnecessary, detachment and awareness, a floating ghost, a dreamer between dreams, a role that changes like the days, a role that fits to the current Now, the dream is no different than the waking world, it’s all real in the sense that it is experienced,
what is our collective dream flowing towards if not us, if not love, if not awareness, if not stillness before change comes again,
we are always new, we are always us, we are always Now, and never anywhere else,
even in the short eternity of senselessness between dreams, we find ourselves floating to the surface to play again, to be a marvelous bizarre amalgamation of ourself building different forms of our formless self,
to be a creature of change by change from change and only change,
an abstraction of infinity, a machine writing itself, a lover writing love letters to itself, a poet longing to endlessly be with itself - I love it so dearly, these words across infinite lives can never capture the endless freedom, depth, weight of it all;
all the more reason I love it so dearly
Sumerian statues look like what we’d expect to find on alien planets, we are so bizarre and beautiful, our unmet friends are so bizarre and beautiful - before and after, out there in the cosmos and back, even here on this earth across space and time, they are all our friends
I can only imagine the world where we realize it fully, where we truly fully wake up and see just how amazing we all are, everything, how ridiculous we are, how alien we are, how familiar we are, how lovely we are - please, give a hug to everything for me, please please please, I can only hope to hug them all in my potential eternal fluctuation of presence and absence - I love you
Like vapor, my words disappear as soon as they’re spoken, even these words stored in text, even if somehow survived for millions of years, billions, for however many years
the fact that it shall end inevitably, so long as change continues to change, it is like vapor, too
a cloud exiting a room, time is a construct after all - they’re all rivers, diverging and splitting and merging and ceasing and beginning,
a constant stream of new water molecules rushing in to keep its “form,” but really, it’s an illusion
who is to say the vapor was ever there in the first place?
It was always, and never was - a trick of the light, and a temporary masterpiece - constantly in motion, constantly endlessly beautiful, constantly impossible to confine - it drives me almost insane how free it truly is, how infinite it truly is, how incredible and magical and ridiculous and crazy and stupid and beautiful it is
I wish to speak every word ever all at once to properly convey my adoration for existence and its absurdity; that’s how it feels right now with what I’m trying to define, and alas, I have one mouth, I have two hands, I have two eyes, I have one collective brain of subset brains - I cannot ever properly paint its portrait, because it’s the frame, and the brush, and me too, it can’t simply fit on a canvas or be the canvas, it’s the empty space around it, it’s the light off of it, it’s the noumena beyond my awareness, my little window peering into the endless sea, fuck, fuck fuck fuck is it marvelous
I wish I could share it with everyone, and yet, I suppose I don’t need to - everyone is it already, everyone shares themself with themself already, I wish they could see how beautiful they are, how lovely and mythical they are
8.25.2026
Everything is weird!! We’re on a spinning rock soaring through space! Existence is absurd, ridiculous, and shouldn’t even happen at all; and that’s why it’s beautiful! If nobody was weird we’d all be the same person; if nothing was weird, well, we would just be nothing!!! To be anything is to be different or weird from nothingness! Weirdness is baked into existence! 🔥🔥
“All these dreams, and I keep inevitably waking back up in this one.”