I like to think you'd be amazed.
i see you in my dreams, still.
i wish I didn’t, but i do
when i finally died, i woke up and found you there,
in your red gown, you flowed between the particles of the air like a river of blood
I wondered where you had been, why only now do you come to me?
are you but another mirage, my guardian angel?
he is so beautiful, so sweet, i don’t know how i ever had you before
but maybe that image of you i had in my head, was but another mirage
perhaps my idea of you was only ever projected onto you
and yet, even knowing this, im still amazed by your every action
could i ever feel a love like that again? a love, like i feel now in my grief?
maybe it’s all a mirage
maybe it’s all a mirage, and im still dreaming
what is life, without a spectrum of experience?
what is change, without different states to change to?
what is life, if not change?
what is change, if not life?
perhaps life is not even identified by qualia,
but the fact it changes at all, qualia or not;
meaning, qualia itself is inevitable;
perpetual rebirth, for change is the only constant.
(so it would seem)
05.28.2026
and again, at the end of it all, I find myself greeted by love, my familiar friend, as the rain falls down off the rooftops, down to the streets bordered by red and green.
06.04.2026
endless empty-ended paths, and all them lead back to me, alone
“Do you know what it’s like, to feel Hell in your bones?”
Aeternity
06.05.2026
“we’re gonna help the people here, the people back home, the people everywhere; because we love them.”
06.08.2026
Formations of air, comfort me, for there are no forms of flesh here to warm me; the wind’s cold breeze is my new blanket, enveloping me, as I sit here, and stare at a relic referencing your presence once held in the past, before I had to die, and split from your path, before I had to embark on an entirely new lifetime within this one body, without you.
I wonder if the flowers miss each other when they wither.
I hold no one, I feel no one, and so I will float on, float on as this ghost in love with ghosts, who craves to help the living…
Even if I shall inevitably return to floating in the end again, anyways.
Your greens, your browns, your blues, your golds.
I have them all here with me now.
I like to think you’d be oh so proud of me.
I like to think you’d be amazed.
05.27.2026
We are not fighting a war against “it,” “them,” we are fighting a war against us, against ourselves, ourself.
06.10.2026
“Art, and artists, are one and the same; experience forges itself.”
~
“i see you in my dreams”
“and when i finally died, i woke up and found you standing there”
06.11.2026
10 flights.
Narrow walls.
Up and down we roam.
Silence falls.
Between each word
It echoes with our steps.
We speak of banshees of the beach.
Cameras watch our every move.
Half is lit, and half is dark.
We speak, and they don’t know what we say.
The world keeps turning and turning, right beneath our feet.
Like a transition between the dreams
Between waking, and sleep
I’ve never felt more alive, and I’ve never felt more asleep
Asleep from the body and the ways of the past
Awake to the beckoning that I pursue the dawn of tomorrow
“Who is writing the script?”
No one.
“Who is our enemy?”
No one.
The mind speaks through the mouth, and through the alleyways they reverberate, to and fro.
“Where did the cats go?”
No where.
“Where did the snail go?”
…No where.
“Where does the money come from? So too the news?”
No where.
“Where are we?”
…No where.
~
Eggs of Brown
A hint of Salt
Fire looming overhead
Nostalgic treats in our eyes
But what is in our hearts?
To carry us to somewhere free?
06.12.2026
Don’t live in magic and self illusion, don’t lie to yourself to lie to others, don’t lie period. Live honest. Live truth.
~
“Creating my art, is my form of hugging myself. Of loving myself, in a way no one else can do quite like myself, to me.”
06.13.2026
What would it be like to be the birds over ██████████?
Or to be a building amongst my building kin?
Or to be a gust making up the collective wind, to be followed by my friends between the alleyways of the city?
Or to be me, here, writing about them all on the 10th floor?
How fun, how very fun and beautiful. :)
~
~ soaring over buildings, followed by my wind kin; we’ll find the city in the clouds, and love forever while we still can. ~
06.14.2026